Entry #3

Hello Blogfollowers,

There are four major topics that must be touched upon in this entry: my classes, cuisine, beer, and of course, Korean women. Let's start with my classes because it is the tamest of the four categories.

I work in what's called a hagwon 학원 - or English school (that's right, I'm learning Korean). The classes are small, about five kids per section, and then there is the private tutoring aspect. The kids, as all kids are, are relentlessly cute - but much moreso because of their names. It's impossible to get mad at little girls named Lala and little boys named Harry. And it's impossible not to respect a boy named Dragon. I've already decided that will be my first born's name. Boy or girl. Dragon Foley. Wow, what a name.

Food is something I think about quite often (as a matter of fact I'm thinking about it right now), but Koreans keep you guessing. There are delicious things like Korean BBQ,which you grill right in front of you with all sorts of vegetables, and Gim-Chi, which is rotted spicy pickled cabbage and is actually quite tasty, but then there are other things.

One of these things is pupa. If you don't remember pupa from third grade science class, it's the stage of life for a butterfly in between caterpiller and butterfly, where they form a cocoon. Koreans serve pupa cooked in a brown sauce. And not just like one or two. It's a big old pile of them, free (I wonder why), and served with beer. Pupa is bar food. How does it taste, you ask? Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever had a Gusher?

If you don't know where I'm going with this or you have a weak stomach, I'd recommend you skip to the next paragraph. Once you have sunk your teeth into these shriveled brown pupa, you are greeted with an initial crunch followed by a warm goo that squirts into your mouth with a terrible jolt. The taste is a hybrid of dog food that's been dropped in the dirt and chocolate milk. Of course, at this point, you think it can't get any worse, and you should just finish it. But then you sink your teeth down deeper and you receive a second crunch, in which you realize you're breaking the exoskeleton (or perhaps one of the legs) of the potential butterfly. Then it's just a grudge match to see if you really can choke it down before chugging 멐주 Mekju (Korean beer) and Kiwi 소주Soju (Like a kiwi Pina Colada made with rice wine). And Koreans pop these bad boys like they're potato chips. Impressive.

And speaking of drinks, those are your major options - Mekju and Soju. The soju's not bad, especially the way they do it up. The mekju's another story. Far be it from me to take the route of a beer snob, but Korean beer really just isn't all that great. I don't mind drinking it, I mean, I am a fresh college graduate, but it all tastes like watered down Heineken. And I was jonesin to try some new exotic beer. Sure there were Western Bars, where you could grab some good drafts and hang out with white people, but I could do that in the States. I wanted something Korean and delicious. And then one night, when I was out with my fellow teachers, they showed me to German Bar.

Don't let the name deceive you. German Bar is owned and operated by a Korean man, who happened to be classically trained in Germany by German Brewmasters. He makes his own microbrews and serves them at his brewery. And my God they are good. Plus he speaks good English and likes to get loaded with his customers. Great guy.

Lastly, there's the disturbing fact of the girls here. So the girls here are mostly gorgeous. But not like regular gorgeous. Like they are perfect. You know how they say if something seems too good to be true, it probably is? Well they were right. If you do the research, you'll find something unsettling about my generation of Korean women. You know how girls in America have a Sweet 16 and they ask for a car or a dress or the first season of the Jersey Shore on DVD?

Here they ask for plastic surgery.

No, I'm not joking. Do the research. Conservative estimates gauge 50%, that's HALF, of Korean girls in their twenties have had plastic surgery. And many others want it. Don't get me wrong, they look fantastic, but I believe in being yourself, baby.

Everything else aside, I love the teaching. It's the best part about being here, hands down. It really is an awesome opportunity.

People Skype with me if you get the chance. I miss you all, take care.

-Danielteacher